Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence

12 Traits of High Emotional Intelligence

In 1995, psychologist and science journalist Daniel Goleman published a book introducing the concept of Emotional Intelligence.  EI as it is known, is the ability to understand and manage your own emotions whilst understanding the emotions, feelings and behaviours in others.  Being Emotionally Intelligent increases our ability to influence others at a greater degree, develop sustainable relationships, become authentic and achieve success.

Below there are  12 actions/behaviours that illustrate how emotional intelligence appears in the real world.

1. You think about feelings.

Emotional intelligence begins with what is called self- and social awareness, the ability to recognise emotions (and their impact) in both yourself and others.

That awareness begins with your ability to self reflect and ask questions like:

  • What are my emotional strengths? What are my weaknesses?
  • How does my current mood affect my thoughts and decision making?
  • What’s going on under the surface that influences what others say or do?

2. Think before you speak – take a pause

The ability to pause and think about what you are going to say and the actions you will display is important. However, this is difficult to do due to the fact that when we are in a high state of emotion we don’t think, we do.  Pausing can help save you from embarrassing moments or from making commitments too quickly.

In other words, pausing helps you refrain from making a permanent decision based on a temporary emotion.

3. You strive to control your thoughts.

You don’t have much control over the emotion you experience in a given moment. But you can control your reaction to those emotions-by focusing on your thoughts.

By striving to control your thoughts, you resist becoming a slave to your emotions, allowing yourself to live in a way that’s in harmony with your goals and values.

4. You benefit from constructive feedback

Nobody enjoys negative feedback. But you know that constructive feedback sometimes delivered as criticism is a chance to learn.  Even if you believe it’s unfounded sometimes it gives you an insight as to how others think and feel about you.

When you receive negative feedback, you keep your emotions in check and ask yourself: What can I do to improve myself?

5. You show authenticity

Authenticity doesn’t mean sharing everything about yourself, to everyone, all of the time. It does mean saying what you mean, meaning what you say, and sticking to your values and principles above all else.  It means being true to yourself and genuine.

6. You demonstrate empathy

The ability to show empathy includes understanding others’ thoughts and feelings, helps you connect with them. Empathy is about being able to put yourself in other people’s shoes and being able to see something from their perspective.  It doesn’t mean agreeing with the other person’s point of view it’s about understanding their view point.

7. You recognise others’ contributions

All of us crave acknowledgement and appreciation. When you give praise and feedback to others, you satisfy that innate craving and this builds trust and deeper relationships.

9. You apologise

It takes strength and courage to be able to say you’re sorry and avoid appealing to your ego. But doing so demonstrates humility, a quality that will naturally draw others to you.  Apologising does not necessarily mean that you are wrong it just means that you value the relationship more than stroking your ego.

10. Foregiveness

Hanging on to resentment is bad for your relationships and health. If you continue to hold on to the resentment you never give yourself a chance to heal and move on. Not allowing yourself to let go means that your emotions are holding you hostage.

11. Honour your commitments

How many times do you find yourself being let down by others and how frustrating can it be? Being authentic and true to your values means that you are more likely to honour your commitments for the sake of your relationship(s) and helps build a strong reputation for being trustworthy and reliable and a true friend/colleague.

12. Take time out to help others

One of the greatest ways to positively impact the emotions of others is to help them. When we are at our busiest that’s often the time that others ask you to help them.  If you value the relationship then take time out of your busy schedule to listen or help them.

Its now the end of 2019 and we are fast approaching 2020 so take action to become more Emotionally Intelligent, live authentically to be more fulfilled, successful and happy in your future life.

Call me today on 07702 818665 or contact me via this website and book yourself a 30 minute free coaching session to discover how to become Emotionally Intelligent.https://afcconsultants.co.uk/personaldevelopment/