How to be Assertive

Assertive woman in red

Assertive – Ten Ways to say NO!

How often do you find yourself saying YES to someone when really you wanted to say NO?

Would you like to be more ASSERTIVE?

Read on to discover Ten Ways to Say NO!

First of all, we are all busy people and have our own set of priorities and objectives to achieve.  As a result, all too often we find ourselves taking on extra work due to the fact that we have an inability to say NO to others.

Furthermore, there are times when saying no is the right thing to do, if we are to manage our time and priorities well. It’s time to try a fresh approach?

Why do we find it difficult to say “No?

There are many reasons, and these are known as ‘Limiting Beliefs’.   Hence, it’s possible that you more than one applies to you. Here are some popular offenders:

  • We feel our refusal might cause offence or damage our career
  • We want to be liked and popular
  • Others may think of us as unkind, uncooperative or selfish
  • We believe we should be all things to all people
  • We’ve been brought up to believe that saying “no” is impolite
  • It is easier to give in than risk the other person’s reaction
  • Finally, we do not have a clear idea of our personal limits or boundaries (it’s often this one)

Which ones apply to you?

Understanding your Limiting Beliefs is half the battle. Here’s what to do differently:-

Ten Ways to Say No

  1. Be clear and use the word “No” early in your response.  If possible, make it the first word.
  2. Keep your response short – this gives less room for others to find a way in to try to persuade you to change your mind.
  3. Don’t defend your statement and start justifying yourself.
  4. Use Assertive language, clear and concise and ensure your body language mirrors and matches your words.  Don’t give incongruent messages
  5. Only give reasons if you feel that your statement needs to be substantiated and don’t be drawn into a discussion.
  6. When you have finished making your point, find a conversation closer, such as “OK?”, “Thank you for being understanding”, etc – or just change the subject.
  7. If you are able to help, offer an alternative or specific time for them to come back to you.
  8. Ask for time if you need it. No one should expect you to make a good decision if they catch you on the hop.
  9. Repeat yourself if necessary. You can use the same or different words. Instead of being drawn off at a tangent, just repeat the no.
  10. Remember you are turning down a request, not rejecting a person. You have a right to say “No”!

How we can help you?

Want to be in a position to say ‘NO’ and have more impact at work? Then take a look at our course called ‘Influence with Impact ‘ which covers Assertiveness and how to say no using some of the techniques above.

Aspiring Future Competence have years of experience of working in Corporate organisations.  We personally understand that saying NO and being assertive when working in a fast-moving business environment is difficult.  Perhaps you have a very dogmatic boss and are fearful of saying NO for the sake of your career.  We are here to help you.

Call Andree Funnell to discuss your development needs on 0845 6182879 or 07702 818665.  Alternatively you can contact us via this website by completing the contact form. We would love to hear from you and know we can help!

One thought on “How to be Assertive

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